I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
