At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
