Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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