i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my sisters under your porch take her home
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
