hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
