So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
