Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize