I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
