It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
