i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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