Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize