the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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