You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
