i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
