Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have demons in me.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
