There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
