my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
