chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
