Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize