i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
