I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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