call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You were trust falling into bushes
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
