she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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