OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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