Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That accounts for only three of the penises
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
