my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
