Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
