We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
