At least make sure they are 18
Why
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize