You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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