My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
