Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
