"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
