I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
