i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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