When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
birth control should be required to get into college
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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