Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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