I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
false alarm, still single
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize