I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
