at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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