You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
