tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
