"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
