quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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