youre lurking in front of me
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
