My friends, they love my intelligence
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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