Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So here I am, sexting at work.
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