Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
