ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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