I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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