he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
