once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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