We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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