I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
