How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
